Things I learned my first week as a parent...

Today marks one week since Allen and Kaden came to live with us. This blog documents some of the things I've learned my first week as a parent.


1. "Toots" are the most wonderfully hilarious thing in the whole world - no exceptions.

2. There is no place bacon can't hide.

3. When a 3-year-old has to go pee-pee, find a bathroom - quickly and at any cost.

4. Cereal with marshmallows trumps pop-tarts any day.

5. If it feels like the heat is on, it's because it is. Your 2-year-old climbed on a chair and turned the thermostat to heat (it's mid-October, people, and 85 degrees outside).

6. Remember going to the bathroom alone? A fond, distant memory.

7. You can buy the greatest toys money can afford, but the table coasters and your makeup mirror reign supreme.

8. 2-year-old poop is in no way cuter, less smelly or smaller in mass than adult poop.

9. In front of the curtain: cute, loveable Elmo. Behind the curtain: Hairy, scary monster that makes the kids cry and refuse to go to sleep.

10. Zack is THE BEST. Period. (I happen to agree with this one)

11. If you take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese the first couple days they live with you - even if it's for your niece's birthday party - they will think going to Chuck E Cheese is a daily activity...and ask you...every day...when you are going back.

12. Applesauce makes everything better.

13. Dimples and a cleft chin will melt your heart like butter on a hot biscuit.

14. You can say "don't drink the bath water" til the cows come home. They will drink it. Just don't think about it.

15. The chocolate chip pancakes will make their way to your white couch.

16. Spiderman bandaides heal all.

17. Gummy vitamins = candy, in their book.

18. Remember that gourd you bought as fall decor for your kitchen table? Where'd that go? Oh, under your 3-year-old's bed... that's right.

19. You thought reading bedtime stories in the different accents and dialects and whatnot was getting you brownie points, right? Turns out they still like Zack better...it's a boys' club, and you'll never get in.

20. Once they've learned to call it their "teeter," you can call it "peepee" all you want... it's still their teeter when it really matters.

All at once...

I have come to realize something about my life in recent days: nothing ever happens that it doesn't happen all at once. This is a strange concept, but one I am more and more convinced of with each passing second. When I worked in the mall at a store called Bombay, it was eerie how this theory would play out regularly: absolutely no one would come into the store, but when they did, without fail, they came in hords. Everyone working there knew it to be true, but no one understood why...mind boggling. And while this life concept suits my all-or-nothing personality just fine, I have recently entered the theory into my "I don't have a friggin clue why, but it's true" belief system. Why recently? Thanks for asking, I'll tell you why. Since Zack and I moved from Spring Hill with thoughts of becoming missionaries or buying a house and having lots of babies or even just finding jobs, we went through a season of, well...nothing. It took months for Zack to find a job, the missionary option didn't seem to be panning out, and we lived with my parents for almost 8 months. I couldn't find a full-time job, we wanted kids but it didn't seem feasible, we needed a new car but couldn't afford it (we only have one), I was wondering what kind of writing job I could get with my journalism degree without actually having to report...none of our dreams--no, nothing at all seemed to be happening. It was a waiting season. We were at a stand-still, looking at God, going "We're ready when You are!" Then, all at once it seemed, and just at the time it looked the least like God was going to move...BAM! Zack gets a permanent teaching position, we move into a new place, I get a writing job that allows me to work from home and still work on the business from home, we fall into the process leading up to adopting 2 little boys, we are now looking into making an offer on a house, and this week we were looking at buying a new car! I am seriously overwhelmed by the whole sense of newness my life has taken on--grateful for all the positive changes and still having to lean on God, just like I was in the waiting season, because I can't possibly handle the madness of all the new things without His grace and guidance. It's just crazy, though, how it all came at once, after such a long period of nothingness. The only thing missing now is for me to get pregnant and us to buy a dog (the first of which hasn't happened, by the way, and the second never will).

An arm of flesh vs God of the Angel Armies...

There have been some bad reports lately. This morning I started to open my Bible and pray, and the Lord had me open to these verses in 2 Chronicles 32:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. 8 With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles." And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.
9 Later, when Sennacherib king of Assyria and all his forces were laying siege to Lachish, he sent his officers to Jerusalem with this message for Hezekiah king of Judah and for all the people of Judah who were there: 10 "This is what Sennacherib king of Assyria says: On what are you basing your confidence, that you remain in Jerusalem under siege? 11 When Hezekiah says, 'The Lord our God will save us from the hand of the king of Assyria,' he is misleading you, to let you die of hunger and thirst. 12 Did not Hezekiah himself remove this god's high places and altars, saying to Judah and Jerusalem, 'You must worship before one altar and burn sacrifices on it'? 13 "Do you not know what I and my fathers have done to all the peoples of the other lands? Were the gods of those nations ever able to deliver their land from my hand? 14 Who of all the gods of these nations that my fathers destroyed has been able to save his people from me? How then can your god deliver you from my hand? 15 Now do not let Hezekiah deceive you and mislead you like this. Do not believe him, for no god of any nation or kingdom has been able to deliver his people from my hand or the hand of my fathers. How much less will your god deliver you from my hand!" 16 Sennacherib's officers spoke further against the Lord God and against his servant Hezekiah. 17 The king also wrote letters insulting the Lord, the God of Israel, and saying this against him: "Just as the gods of the peoples of the other lands did not rescue their people from my hand, so the god of Hezekiah will not rescue his people from my hand." 18 Then they called out in Hebrew to the people of Jerusalem who were on the wall, to terrify them and make them afraid in order to capture the city. 19 They spoke about the God of Jerusalem as they did about the gods of the other peoples of the world--the work of men's hands. 20 King Hezekiah and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz cried out in prayer to heaven about this. 21 And the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated all the fighting men and the leaders and officers in the camp of the Assyrian king. So he withdrew to his own land in disgrace. And when he went into the temple of his god, some of his sons cut him down with the sword. 22 So the Lord saved Hezekiah and the people of Jerusalem from the hand of Sennacherib king of Assyria and from the hand of all others. He took care of them on every side. 23 Many brought offerings to Jerusalem for the Lord and valuable gifts for Hezekiah king of Judah. From then on he was highly regarded by all the nations.

I was absolutely overwhelmed that the Lord spoke such a poignant word to me (not sure why, He always does). God has given Zack and I something to stand on and to hope in. He, not we, orchestrated this whole situation. Now the enemy wants to strike fear into our hearts by sending us bad reports, telling us that our God cannot save us. We will not be moved. God sent 1 angel and defeated the enemy's whole army. He is more than able to conquer the enemy in this situation. The enemy fights with an arm of flesh, but we with the God of the angel armies. We will stand firm on His promises to us, and listen to His Word, and not the evil reports that have no merit. We will not allow him to terrify us or make us afraid. When the enemy asks "On what are you basing your confidence?" We will answer "The Lord our God, who is mighty to save! He fights our battles for us!"

Sarah Palin / Hillary Clinton SNL spoof...

Okay, so I had decided that videos look ugly on my blog and I was going to take a break from posting them...until I saw this SNL video and cracked up laughing. I am a big Sarah Palin fan, but this impersonation was spot-on!

New Developements...

New Job: Yup, it's true. I just got hired for my first official writing job, and to say I am excited would be a gross understatement. I am helping to write scripts for Wii and DS video games. After my first day when I came home with a DS and a few video games that I'm supposed to "research" as part of the job, my husband pretty much turned green with jealousy. It's sort-of funny that I'm one of the least interested people when it comes to video games...but I am interested in getting paid to write in a creative venue, and it's super fun so far. I just pitched some ideas to my boss for the All Star Cheer Squad sequal (the first one doesn't even come out until October, featuring yours truly as the voices of a couple characters=) We'll see what the boss thinks. I get to work from home, which is going to work out great with my second new developement:

New Family members: No, I'm not pregnant, but we are going to be expanding our family. Kaden and Allen are 2 and 4 (next month), and are currently staying with my cousins Natalie and Aaron. They were removed from their family for reasons too sad and lengthy to name here, but the good news is that they are most likely going to be moving in with us until the trial, at which point we find out if we'll be able to adopt them. We went to be fingerprinted and visit them this weekend. We took them to the beach and had such a fun time. They are the sweetest, cutest little angels in the world! We are both quite smitten, and left them Saturday with tears in our eyes. I'll post some pics here. Everyone please pray for God to protect these boys, and that justice would be done at the upcoming trial.

New Office Season 4 on DVD: What more can I say? There will SO be yet another office marathon, and I can guarantee there will be chocolate chip pancakes involved again. Michael's bizarre office conduct, Shrutisms, Jim and Pam as a couple, and , of course, their arch-nemesis, Ryan? What more could I ask for? It's just such a beautiful thing...I'm tearing up again.

New Apartment: Here are some pics from the balcony of our new apartment. Now you'll see why I call it the treehouse. Enjoy!

Water Logged

So...Tuesday I babysat the daughter of some friends. Their nanny was sick, and I was their only hope. They dropped her off at 6:45am, so it was a good thing she took a 2 1/2-hr nap, because I snoozed right along with her. She's 2 and oh-so-cute. Later in the afternoon, my sister Meghan came over and brought a bathing suit of my niece's for the little girl to wear, and we all went swimming at the apartment complex we just moved to (pictures to follow...as soon as we finally get the last room completed!)

Things had gone well that day...almost too well. We swam for a while and were about to leave when the little girl ran over to the steps of the pool again and got in. She can't swim and didn't have water wings. We were leaving, so we told her not to get in, but...2-year-olds will be 2-year-olds, so she got in anyway. I walked over to help her out when she tumbled down into the water. I was right beside her, so I reached in to grab her arm, but I couldn't get ahold of it for a second, and Meghan panicked and yelled "Get her!" So, phone in hand and Vera Bradley purse on shoulder, I jumped in and grabbed her out. When I pulled her up (it had been a total of about 4 seconds, so don't worry), she was smiling and just said "Sorry!"...Sorry...as if she could see my Chocolate phone sinking beneath the water...sorry...as if watching the chlorine water stealing the color from my new Java Blue tote. I also skinned my knee pretty badly on the steps when I heaved my body in. I emerged from the pool fully clothed, dripping wet, bleeding, and getting a blank white screen from my non-responsive cell phone. I was not a happy camper. Could have been much worse...or a whole lot better. I'm hoping her parents don't read this, because I didn't happen to mention it to them when they picked her up later.

I am happy to report, however, that the water has officially evaporated from my cell phone and it is almost completely functional again. My knee is looking less like that of an 8-year-old's, and my Vera looks fine.

To the parents of that little girl: I reserve the right to create fictional stories portrayed as reality for my blog. To all other readers: This is a not one of those times.

You, Me and DC

Incase you haven't seen these from my Myspace or Facebook, I'll post some pics from our trip to DC for The Call. It may take me a little bit to get them into album form so I can post em (I took over 600 pics!), so check back later if you don't see them now...here are some videos explaining the Call incase you don't know what it's all about. It was an amazing day of prayer and fasting for the ending of abortion and revival for our nation.

ASCS Trailer!

Hey everybody, here's a trailer for All Star Cheer Squad--the new Wii game I'm doing some voices for! Coming to stores in October! And we've got the green light for the sequal, so I'll keep you updated on that!

Talk about speaking something into being...

So, I may have been a tad melodramatic on my last post, but I think I must have spoken my "worst day" theory into being...here's how the rest of my day played out: I decided to get over my pitty party and make a big dinner and try to get the house reasonably picked up (we're STILL unpacking!) so it would be nice for Zack when he got home. I went (you guessed it, down and up the stairs) to get Zack from school, and didn't stop to get gas because, you guessed it, we had no money! Well, I picked him up and, yup, ran out of gas on the way home! So, we had a big fight as we pushed the car to the gas station. He stopped to get the mail at the front of the apartments and I said I was going to walk home from there. About 10 (literally) steps afterward, the bottom fell out and it started to pour on me. So, then I had to get back in the car with Zack even though I was still mad, which totally meant I lost! I went home and got in the bath again to drown my sorrows. What a day! Now I'm practicing: today is going to be the best day ever!

"It was just the season"--Norah Jones

Today? Not the greatest day...well, at least it hasn't started out that way. I guess there's still the chance the people with the big check could show up on my doorstep...but with my luck today, they'd say, "Oops, we're at the wrong house, sorry we ran over your dog." I got up early to take Zack to work since we only have one car and I needed desperately to go grocery shopping. No such luck. Some...ahem...person parked in front of our garage at our apartment, blocking us in. That...ahem...person was apparently not home. I know because Zack was banging on their door at 7:15am loud enough that I heard it in the next apartment building over. So, an hour later, we were waiting in the pouring rain for the tow truck to move their car. Meanwhile, Zack has to call for a substitute to watch his class b/c he's going to be late, very late, the first week of school. We were not happy people. So, all-in-all, that took about 3 trips up and down the stairs to our 3rd floor apartment...not terrible.

I realize after dropping him off that I forgot one of the items I wanted to bring to the post office to mail for our business. No problem, I just run home, up the stairs, back down, and to the post office to drop it off along with payments for some bills, since Zack's getting his first paycheck today.

So, I'm at Wal-Mart with a truck-load of groceries in my cart, since we just moved and have almost nothing in our frige, when Zack calls to let me know he isn't getting paid today like he thought--one more week to the next paycheck! Not to worry, we just got the final check in the mail from the fireworks tent we worked this summer...oh, wait, strangely it is made out to the wrong name? Interesting. The guy at TNT says they put a stop-payment on the check? Intriguing. They'll cut me another one and send it to me sometime this week? Convenient, since I decided an hour ealier to drop off at the Post Office the last huge payment to the ER for Zack's face-plant on the basketball court last year!

Only 7 more trips up and down the stairs to get all the groceries in the house IN THE POURING RAIN, and I am dripping rain and sweat and tears. Off to empty almost all the money from our business account (these have been the 2 slowest months ever!) to write ourselves a check so the others don't bounce and head for the stairs for a trip to the bank.

One more trip up the dreaded stairs (that makes 12, if you weren't counting), and I did what any good Christian who can't, in good conscience, get sloppy drunk and hurt someone, would do. I drowned my sorrows in the bathtub and got out some old Norah. Man, does she know me. "Summer days are gone too soon, you shoot the moon and miss completely. Now you're left to face the gloom of an empty room that once smelled sweetly. Of all the flowers you plucked, if only you knew the reason why we had to each be lonely. It was just the season." So, with the music that reminds me of simpler times, and bubble bath that smells like my honeymoon, and my thighs feeling pretty much like jello, I've fallen into a sentimental, sad little stuper. There's so much wrong with this period in our lives...so much I didn't plan on in my little dreams of what my life would be like. But it is a chapter I'll never get back. I know you think I meant that as "I'll never get it back, so I'd better appreciate it and not take this time for granted." You'd be wrong.