Date Night from Hell

Zack decided to take me out on a date tonight. He's been talking about it for a couple of days now. He has this thing about date night-- he feels the need to leave the house, drive back, ring the doorbell, and give me flowers when I answer the door.Then we do this awkward thing where we really pretend like we're on a first date...until it creeps me out and I tell us to stop. And tonight was no exception. We got ready and drove to Arigato's in Clearwater for dinner. It was fun and the food there is really good (although for $20+ per plate, I always think they should throw in a movie, or at least some extra rice). Afterwards we had decided we would go to the Melting Pot for dessert, but since we were still pretty full from dinner, we wanted to kill some time. None of the movies playing looked any good (why the heck is EVERYTHING rated R these days anyway?).

To give a little background, we had spent the day taking the Jetta (which we have come to quite literally loathe) to the mechanic once again, and once again being told that we will have to take it into the dealership where they will inevitably take 2 days longer to fix it than they say they will, charge us 17x's the actual cost to fix the car, then be totally and completely rude to us, all because they sold us a lemon, they know they sold us a lemon, and there's absolutely nothing anybody can do about it!!!!(...sorry, there's baggage there. Last total cost to fix the SPEEDOMETER: $1600. No, I'm not kidding, and, yes, I did get 2 tickets in the same week before we realized we had no other choice--true story).

Anyway, we had spent the afternoon discussing our hatred for the German vehicle, that our next car will have to be a Toyota or a Honda, and possible options on how to get rid of it. So, after dinner, Zack casually says, to kill time, we should go look at cars. Sounds fun to me. But... wow--you need more background. Okay, it should just suffice to say that Zack has a specific hatred for salespeople. No, I mean, he HATES being pressured to buy things. I remember 3 years ago when he bought the Jetta (this was before we were married). He got so mad at the salesman that I remember thinking "He isn't violent, is he? " I had never seen that side of Zack before. So, as we pull into the Toyota dealership, just as the salesmen start rushing to our car, Zack says maybe this is a bad idea. I tell him not to worry and that I'll do all the talking. We are just LOOKING. We stressed this to Kevin--the concept that we were just LOOKING. We weren't going to buy a car tonight, and he seemed to understand at first. We really liked the Toyota Matrix. Kevin asked if we wanted to test drive it. It started to rain. I said yes. We take it for a little spin. It's cute, and it drives good, and it has a LIFETIME warranty. Sounds good. Still, Kevin, remember? We aren't going to make any decisions tonight. He seems to understand. So, he starts asking financial information--just so he can give us some information to take home with us. No pressure, just paperwork. I feel my stomach start to rumble and I know I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. But I can't leave Zack all alone with Kevin. Kevin is a salesman, and up to this point, I'm sure he's picked out Zack as the weak one being that I've been the ONLY one to say a word thus far in the evening. He'll turn on Zack. And Zack may kill him. My stomach really starts to hurt now, and I know I'm going to have to make for the bathroom.

"I need to use the restroom." Zack looks at me with horror. When I return, Zack is almost finished with the paperwork, and his foot is tapping rapidly.

"Is everything Okay?" I ask. He doesn't answer, and Kevin comes back to the table with a folder. And, then, all at once, it happens. Before my very eyes, Kevin morphs into this creature--a creature who feeds on car sales and hasn't eaten in days. I can hear Zack's foot tapping faster, and I know we need to leave before things get ugly.

"No," I say politely, smiling, "we can't make a decision tonight. We don't even have any money to put down tonight." Kevin isn't looking at me anymore, though. He's staring straight at Zack.

"So, how much could you put down?" Zack's foot is tapping faster.

"We just can't make any major decisions tonight," I try again.

"So, zero?" Kevin asks Zack as if I'm not talking. At that point, everything gets kinda hazy. I remember Zack shouting, I remember him standing up and pointing his finger in Kevin's face, I remember him yelling "We told you from the beginning we couldn't buy a car tonight and you said you wouldn't pressure us and now you're changing your tune!" I remember everyone in the dealership looking at us, I remember the manager coming over and asking if everything was all right and trying to calm Zack down, and I remember Kevin leaving the table and walking away. But it was about that time that the manager starts haggling with us, asking what he can do to get us in the car tonight, and I have to literally push Zack out the door apologizing as we leave.

Few words were spoken on the way home. Only the ones where I told Zack to forget the Melting Pot. We drove 45 minutes home without saying a word. We didn't stay mad. But date night was officially a bust.