If I had my way (this blog contains a spoiler for the movie "Becoming Jane")

If you don't want to hear the ending of "Becoming Jane," please read no further.

I can't believe I'm the only one in this category: those who loath a sad ending. I always have. The movie could be brilliantly acted, written, directed, whatever, but if I leave the movie theater depressed, it's over. I'm ticked. When I go to the movies, I not only expect to be entertained, but in so doing, I expect to be uplifted, made to feel good, or at least hopeful. I've heard people say things like, "Yes, but they did the noble thing in the end," or "They would never have been happy with themselves in the end if they stayed together," etc. Bologna! It's fiction, people! If I want to, I'll pretend they're happy in my head long after the credits role. No, I did not stand up and cheer at the end of Braveheart. So, he gave his life for his country? Big woop! He got his intestines pulled out at the end too! In fact, I couldn't really even get into the movie at all after his wife got her throat cut at the beginning. So, Meryl Streep did the right thing by staying with her husband in The Bridges of Madison County? Listen, I'm a Christian, and even I hated that ending! So, she's destined to live a life with a man she doesn't love? I'm not advocating adultery here, but just don't even make a movie about two people falling in love if they can never be together! It's disturbing to me that people actually enjoy watching movies like this. Movies like Message in a Bottle, My Best Friend's Wedding, Somersby, City of Angels, Kramer verses Kramer, Casa Blanca, Legends of the Fall, and the list goes on and on. Even in Grease I had to pretend Danny Zuko turned into a goody-goody in the end instead of the other way around--but at least they got to ride off into the clouds together at the end! And what about a little movie I like to call Gone with the Wind? Hmmm? I mean, what the hec?! We spend the entire movie wanting Scarlet to fall for Rett, and when she finally does, he leaves her? Are you joking? And then I'm supposed to be comforted by "tomorrow is another day"?! I don't think so! And don't even get me started on Romeo and Juliet, or, worse in my opinion, Shakespeare in Love! Geez! Rewrite Shakespeare's life or don't write the bloody story! (now I'm in England) Do you know what I mean? But, my latest disappointment was Becoming Jane. Sad. Annoyingly sad. Hey, let's make a movie about a woman who falls in love and can't marry the man, so she never gets married her whole life! It'll be a hit! Meanwhile, the man she loves gets married and names his daughter after her? What? And I'm supposed to feel better because Miss Austin writes a few memorable novels afterward? I cried so hard at that movie, I could barely control my sobs as I left the theater. It's torture watching a movie like that--especially one based on a true story. It's like Titanic--you leave the theater sad, but you say "At least it's just a movie--no, wait..." Can we say Depressing? Anyway, if I had my way, all the endings would turn out happy. I guess that would make all my movies predictable, but at least you wouldn't leave the theater craving hard liquor.