In third grade, Freddie Denham told us he'd had sex. We all believed him, of course, for several reasons: 1. We didn't know what sex was 2. Freddie was the oldest kid in class, and seemed as worldly as any 3. He was one of my best friends, and I assumed he wouldn't lie to me, especially about something so serious. When asked by one of his fellow classmates "how" he'd "had" it, he responded with a story that goes a little something like this:
"I found a condom on the ground at the park that was full of rainwater. I picked it up, slung it around, and some of the water got on me."
That sealed it. Who could dispute it? I didn't know what a condom was, so I certainly wasn't going to. It seemed Freddie really had had "sex". And we all just went on thinking it was true, until Danielle Wingo caught wind of the story and told Mrs. Platt, our teacher.
Mrs. Platt spoke with him privately about the whole thing, and assured those of us that knew the story that he had lied to us, and that we shouldn't be talking about things like that anyway. Freddie came back to the classroom crying, and we all knew at once it had been a scam.
Even so, up until high school I believed what Freddie had told me about not holding your eyelids open really wide and bending over because your eyeballs would literally fall out of your head.
3 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAHHHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS SO FUNNY! BEST BLOG YET. 2 THUMBS UP...WAAAAAY UP.
That was great! I don't remember this at all but then again, my memory is shot. I received a head injury about 3 weeks ago with a wooden block w/the letter B on it, I'm blaming my memory problems on that.
Hehehe! So goes the life of a 3 year old boy's mother! =) Plus, I often tend to embellish on these little stories, so don't ruin them with your "memory" please!=D
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