The rantings of a sleep-deprived white woman

When will this torment be over?? School, that is. I feel like I've been in school my whole life...wait, I almost have. I just finished taking 3 tests in my online Jazz class. I love Jazz, though, so at least it's interesting. What I really like is the Big Band/Swing Era--reverse that order for accurate chronology. I have always wished I'd been born in the 20's or 30's. I love that era. I would have loved to swing dance all night, curl my hair in that 20's style and wear twirly skirts. I love movies set in that era with all the gangsters and swingers and war heroes. I'm sure I'm romanticizing it all, but it sounds so adventurous and fun. I wonder if that time had a different "feel" to it than we have today. No, I guess people just went about their lives in the same way we do--taking things for granted or getting caught up in the menial. I want to start making an effort to live my life like that--like no one will ever get to live in the early 2000's after our generation passes. And one day, people will say, "Wouldn't it be cool to live in that time? When people had to type on computers, or liked to listen to screamo music or during the time when the twin towers fell?" Maybe they won't say that. But maybe they will. I've been thinking a lot lately about how it will all end (and not just b/c school is making me want to kill myself either). I don't want to take things for granted. It's such a cliche, but I really do want to live my life, not looking back or ahead, but just appreciating the now. It will never be here again. I can't ever get it back. And more and more, I realize that that doesn't mean "living life to the fullest" in the way the world would say, by having fun or making myself happy. It means that life is fleating. Why even bother living for myself when it will all be gone in an instant? Whoa. How did I get here? Din't I start out talking about hating school? Do you see where sleep deprivation will eventually lead? To the end of all things, that's where.