Thermonex is the Spice of Life

I'm feeling melancholy today. Lot's of things on my mind. I got "told off" via myspace by a girl I haven't seen or heard from since middle school for offending her friend by deleting her as my myspace friend. Now I'm having this sick feeling in my stomach because I can't remember if I'm in one of those dreams where I'm in high school again. At least in this one, I'm not running around naked and trying to act like I'm not. I'm just at home alone today, so it doesn't really matter what I'm wearing...or not wearing=)

Man, what a day. I was awakened by a knock on my door, and, thinking it was the UPS man delivering The Office- Season 1 I ordered online, I rushed to the door. There was a package on my doorstep, but not the one I was hoping for. It was some music stuff Zack had ordered from Sam Ash. Yay. I couldn't go back to sleep then, but the last thing I had dreamed about before I woke up had been eating chocolate chip brownies, so I decided to make some. I did. But as I was waiting for them to finish baking, I started watching a healthy cooking show on the Food Network, and felt so guilty that I couldn't enjoy them. I have homework I could be doing, but I don't want to. I should clean my kitchen, but that doesn't sound so fun either. I'm tired of school, but I don't know what I'll do when I graduate. I feel in dire need of some change. I'm getting antsy.

Yesterday I took a diet pill before I left for school, and all throughout class, I felt like my skin was crawling and I couldn't sit still. Driving home from class, I was feeling really motivated about my life, thinking I really did want to be a photojournalist for a newspaper or magazine. I was going to conquer the world! Then I went and ate lunch with my dad. He was having a really bad day at work, and was feeling blue. I, on the other hand, energized by my plan to become a successful professional (and possibly by the Thermonex, which was now making my armpits sweat like a man's), hatched a big plan to change both my dad's life and mine forever. Now, I know you want to know what it is, but I can't tell you yet. All I can say is it's huge. I even typed up a detailed plan on how we could accomplish our mission, and drove all the way to Oldsmar last night to discuss it with him.

But today I've crashed from my diet pill buzz. I'm looking at my life, wondering if I really will find whatever it is I love to do and do it. Will I experience the change I crave? Will I have adventure? I wonder if the plan I schemed with my dad that would change the course of our lives will ever come to fruition...I hope so. Should I just leave it in God's hands? I know I should.

I'm going to take another diet pill.