Writing ones thoughts and feelings feels like somewhat of a personal thing...at least for me. I've been thinking of starting a new blog where I could post anonymously. That is, people I know wouldn't necessarily be following me. Well, after a couple of hours of trying to come up with a name for my new blog...one that isn't already being used...I've come to one conclusion: there are an insane number of people who start blogs and don't continue them! Seriously. Every single blog I went to (yes, I went to see what these brilliant people who came up with the same blog name as me were writing about) was...sad. One or two posts. Abandoned blogs. Blogs people had started with the greatest of hopes and then left...alone. Desolate. Blank.
That's not who I want to be. Writing is a huge part of my life. It's part of who I am. When I abandon it, I feel like something's missing. Sure, I'm embarrassed by some of my previous posts. Sure, I'd like to start from scratch, reinvent myself, try to be not such a dork. But I won't. I'll press forward with my blog. It doesn't matter that there are some things I don't normally share with people that I'd love to be able to write about. I'm tired of this self-preservation mentality. I am who I am. This is me...the girl who burns the oatmeal every morning, and doesn't paint my toenails and...can't seem to get pregnant. Life is complicated. I follow a few blogs that try to make me think otherwise; try to make me think there are women out there who have all the answers, the time, the beauty, the money, the creativity. Maybe they do have it all, but I don't. I'm going to be real. If nothing else, I'm going to be myself...and that person may evolve and change (I hope), but I want to be true to that person, whoever she is.
1 comment:
I hate to burst your bubble (just kidding - I revel in it) but you couldn't NOT be you if you tried.
Of all the people I know, you're the most uncensored,genuinely, gloriously and insanely self expressive person I've ever met (and not wanted to strangle).
I would love - LOVE - to see you try to hide your personality behind a facade of some kind. I give it 3 blog entries before the thing comes crashing down before the sheer, awesome might of your humongous personality. Wait, what's that? That exactly what happened? I win!
Listen, you're one of the special ones, dog. You may be a dork, but you're our dork. And we wouldn't have it any other way. So don't ever try to hide it. Partly because no one wants you to and anybody who does isn't worth your time, and partly because...face it...you can't : )
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