Zack and I led worship at church last week. We decided to sing the old hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." And I could not even get the words out. I just stood there on stage, bawling like a baby. The words hit me so hard, and all I could do was think of my 2 little boys, and what a miracle they are to us.
"Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father.
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
So much truth. Morning after morning, I look into the faces of my little angels and marvel at God's faithfulness to me. Even when I am so unfaithful to Him, morning after morning, His mercies are new. All I have ever needed, His hand has provided. What a beautiful, faithful God.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Summer of Change...and Uncertainty
I've found myself saying it a lot over the past several months: "Once summer's here..."
Like, "Once summer's here, the adoption will be final," or "Once the summer's here, daddy will be home all day," or "We're moving this summer," "We'll go see Mickey Mouse this summer," "We'll find out if we can get the house this summer," and lately, "Hopefully I'll get my job back this summer."
There are so many things happening, changing this summer, that they'd be hard to list over just a few short months on a calendar. Or maybe it's the fact that they're just big in scale--monumental milestones in my life--maybe that's what makes them feel like so much. Like, by the end of this summer, the adoption of our 2 little boys should be final. By then it will have been almost 1 year since we started this journey. 1 year of worrying, praying, wondering, believing....waiting. By the end of the summer (I hope), Zack and I can take an enormous exhale, and worship our God for His faithfulness to us.
I recently got laid off from my job. And at any other job I've ever had, I can't imagine myself even caring. But this one's been sort-of like a dream job for me. I get to write creatively, work mostly from home so I can be home with my boys, and I'm friends with the people I work with. I found out about the lay-off the day after we made an offer on our dream house, so...the timing seemed really bad. I've been told there's a good possibility I'll get hired back this summer, and, since we made an offer on a house that's a short sale, it'll take the bank a while before we find out if our offer's accepted, and by then, I may have my job back. So, the timing has to be exact. I have to have been working again for 30 days (so I can have 30 days worth of pay stubs) before closing. It's all a little crazy, but we feel like if this is what God wants, it'll work out perfectly. If not, we may be homeless at the end of the summer when our lease is up at our apartment =/
Last weekend I turned 28...yup, 28 years old. Sounds so old. Closer to 30 than to 25. Ive been trying not to think about it too much, and it helped that we spent my birthday taking the boys on their first trip to Disney World. They had such a blast...and it was the most fun trip to the Magic Kingdom I've had since I was a kid. Since they'd never been before, they didn't really know what to expect, which I think is why they hardly said a word for the first hour or 2. They just sat quietly in the rides with their mouths hanging open. It was so cute. It was one of those trips I don't really have anymore as an adult...one where I'm sad to go home at the end. The Disney trip was something we'd planned to do later in the summer, but since Kaden's only free for a couple more weeks (when he'll turn 3!), and I got in free for my birthday, we decided to go early. We had a great time. No crowds. No rain. It was the perfect summer trip. Now I can cross that one off my "Once the summer comes" list of things to do.
Among other things happening this summer, Zack and Kaden have birthdays (so, 2 parties that need planning), Zack is changing to another school, he'll be home all summer (which I'm very excited about), he's hiking the Grand Canyon again with his dad, we're running a fireworks tent in a new location, I'm writing a screen play with my boss, my in-laws are coming down for a reunion/vacation, we're going to my Aunt's house for a long weekend involving water slides, our church is throwing us a sort-of shower, we're going to attempt to open a new county in our DUI business, Zack will become the head coach of either track or cross-country at his new school, and we're starting and heading up a new young adult ministry at our church, as well as taking over children's church once a month. Did I leave anything out? Buying our first house, adopting 2 children, changing jobs...no, those are the high points. =)
This is certainly going to be an interesting, if not insane summer. My boss said he has a feeling good things are going to happen this summer, and, don't tell him I said so, but he tends to be right about things, so... Yeah, it's a summer of uncertainty, a summer of change. But I think good change is coming. Good things are on the horizon.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. '" --Jeremiah 29:11
Like, "Once summer's here, the adoption will be final," or "Once the summer's here, daddy will be home all day," or "We're moving this summer," "We'll go see Mickey Mouse this summer," "We'll find out if we can get the house this summer," and lately, "Hopefully I'll get my job back this summer."
There are so many things happening, changing this summer, that they'd be hard to list over just a few short months on a calendar. Or maybe it's the fact that they're just big in scale--monumental milestones in my life--maybe that's what makes them feel like so much. Like, by the end of this summer, the adoption of our 2 little boys should be final. By then it will have been almost 1 year since we started this journey. 1 year of worrying, praying, wondering, believing....waiting. By the end of the summer (I hope), Zack and I can take an enormous exhale, and worship our God for His faithfulness to us.
I recently got laid off from my job. And at any other job I've ever had, I can't imagine myself even caring. But this one's been sort-of like a dream job for me. I get to write creatively, work mostly from home so I can be home with my boys, and I'm friends with the people I work with. I found out about the lay-off the day after we made an offer on our dream house, so...the timing seemed really bad. I've been told there's a good possibility I'll get hired back this summer, and, since we made an offer on a house that's a short sale, it'll take the bank a while before we find out if our offer's accepted, and by then, I may have my job back. So, the timing has to be exact. I have to have been working again for 30 days (so I can have 30 days worth of pay stubs) before closing. It's all a little crazy, but we feel like if this is what God wants, it'll work out perfectly. If not, we may be homeless at the end of the summer when our lease is up at our apartment =/
Last weekend I turned 28...yup, 28 years old. Sounds so old. Closer to 30 than to 25. Ive been trying not to think about it too much, and it helped that we spent my birthday taking the boys on their first trip to Disney World. They had such a blast...and it was the most fun trip to the Magic Kingdom I've had since I was a kid. Since they'd never been before, they didn't really know what to expect, which I think is why they hardly said a word for the first hour or 2. They just sat quietly in the rides with their mouths hanging open. It was so cute. It was one of those trips I don't really have anymore as an adult...one where I'm sad to go home at the end. The Disney trip was something we'd planned to do later in the summer, but since Kaden's only free for a couple more weeks (when he'll turn 3!), and I got in free for my birthday, we decided to go early. We had a great time. No crowds. No rain. It was the perfect summer trip. Now I can cross that one off my "Once the summer comes" list of things to do.
Among other things happening this summer, Zack and Kaden have birthdays (so, 2 parties that need planning), Zack is changing to another school, he'll be home all summer (which I'm very excited about), he's hiking the Grand Canyon again with his dad, we're running a fireworks tent in a new location, I'm writing a screen play with my boss, my in-laws are coming down for a reunion/vacation, we're going to my Aunt's house for a long weekend involving water slides, our church is throwing us a sort-of shower, we're going to attempt to open a new county in our DUI business, Zack will become the head coach of either track or cross-country at his new school, and we're starting and heading up a new young adult ministry at our church, as well as taking over children's church once a month. Did I leave anything out? Buying our first house, adopting 2 children, changing jobs...no, those are the high points. =)
This is certainly going to be an interesting, if not insane summer. My boss said he has a feeling good things are going to happen this summer, and, don't tell him I said so, but he tends to be right about things, so... Yeah, it's a summer of uncertainty, a summer of change. But I think good change is coming. Good things are on the horizon.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. '" --Jeremiah 29:11
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
